Songs that Make You Go WTF- R.Kelly Edition

R.Kelly has been the reigning King of Hip-Hop R&B for over 10 years. During that time R. Kelly has released some interesting songs.

The Song "Half on a Baby" gave us this wonderful line

From my toes up
To my knee caps
To waist line
Now slowly lady
Can we go half on a baby

I don't know what mathematical equation R.Kelly was using but 2 minutes is not equal to carrying a baby 9 months, labor, and then raising the child. What the heck was he thinking?

"Heaven I need a Hug"

Heaven, I need a hug
Isn't anybody out there willing to embrace a thug
Feelin' like a change of heart
And all I really need is a sign or word from God
So shower down on me, wet me with your love
I need you to take me, and lift me up

He would do better to sing: Heaven, I need Johnny Cochran; Heaven, I need soap on a rope; Heaven, I need an acquittal. That's what he needs to be asking for.

"Sex in Kitchen"

Sex in the kitchen over by the stove
Put you on the counter by the buttered rolls
Hands on the table, on your tippy toes
We'll be making love like the restaurant was closed

Not in my kitchen! Matter of fact, I will make sure to never eat at your house or the casserole you brought to the potluck!

WTF Video

Now the Epic that ruined my summer, "Trapped in a Closet". If you haven't heard it or seen the videos; you haven't missed much. The premise behind this "hip-hop opera" is the strange connection between a cheating husband, his equally cheating wife, and the folks they are sleeping with. It is broken into 5 parts, each one just as dumb as the last. My advice is to read an E.Lynn Harris novel, you get about the same story, but it is much more enjoyable.