Songs that Make You Go WTF- R.Kelly Edition

R.Kelly has been the reigning King of Hip-Hop R&B for over 10 years. During that time R. Kelly has released some interesting songs.

The Song "Half on a Baby" gave us this wonderful line

From my toes up
To my knee caps
To waist line
Now slowly lady
Can we go half on a baby

I don't know what mathematical equation R.Kelly was using but 2 minutes is not equal to carrying a baby 9 months, labor, and then raising the child. What the heck was he thinking?

"Heaven I need a Hug"

Heaven, I need a hug
Isn't anybody out there willing to embrace a thug
Feelin' like a change of heart
And all I really need is a sign or word from God
So shower down on me, wet me with your love
I need you to take me, and lift me up

He would do better to sing: Heaven, I need Johnny Cochran; Heaven, I need soap on a rope; Heaven, I need an acquittal. That's what he needs to be asking for.

"Sex in Kitchen"

Sex in the kitchen over by the stove
Put you on the counter by the buttered rolls
Hands on the table, on your tippy toes
We'll be making love like the restaurant was closed

Not in my kitchen! Matter of fact, I will make sure to never eat at your house or the casserole you brought to the potluck!

WTF Video

Now the Epic that ruined my summer, "Trapped in a Closet". If you haven't heard it or seen the videos; you haven't missed much. The premise behind this "hip-hop opera" is the strange connection between a cheating husband, his equally cheating wife, and the folks they are sleeping with. It is broken into 5 parts, each one just as dumb as the last. My advice is to read an E.Lynn Harris novel, you get about the same story, but it is much more enjoyable.

Meh

I have been rather trifling lately. I haven't posted in 2 weeks. Not that I didn't have anything to post, I just didn't feel like making the effort. You know how you may have an idea; it's not great, it's not bad, it's just meh. Well that is how I have been for the past 2 weeks. Just Meh! So hopefully I will return to my regular schedule.

Songs that make you go WTF

It's Friday and that means another episode of SONGS THAT MAKE YOU GO WTF!

Today's victims are country videos.

***WARNING: Country Guy Slaughtering R&B Love Song ***

I don't know what his name is but some country dude is murdering the song "Back at One" by Brian McKnight. For those of you unfamiliar with Brian McKnight, trust me on this, his version is a lot better. My ears are still bleeding from such blasphemy. Maybe if the video had a storyline to it, it would have been more tolerable. Ok it wouldn't have but at least the video wouldn't have sucked as much.

Montgomery Gentry (I think that's their name) - You know how in most country duos there is always one guy that wears a cowboy hat and usually plays a guitar and the other guy without the hat sings lead vocal. Well in this group, the big guy with the hat doesn't play a guitar nor does he appear to sing lead vocal; although he is handy with twirling a microphone stand. Hey cowboy hat guy, here's a tip, just stand there with a guitar and fake it. We won't know and it would look a lot cooler than playing with the mic stand (that you really aren't using). Come to think of it, why do you have a mic stand? It's not like your hands are occupied with a guitar or fiddle.

Alison Kraus and Union Station - Can you make a video that doesn't involve Alison and Co. walking/riding around with a vacant look on their face? Special Effects are not that expensive nowadays. Matter of fact, live a little, get one of the hip-hop directors (Dave Meyers, Little X, Kanye West, heck even Diddy) for your next video. PLEASE!

The final song gets a WTF, hey that's kinda cute award

Alcohol by Brad Paisley - This is the one line that saves this song, "Helping White People Dance". Lawd, I almost died when I heard that line. Hey anyone that makes fun of white people dancing is ok with me.

Sexy is as Sexy Does

You know what's sexy? A man that is willing to put himself in harms way to help others. Looks are nice, but they eventually fade, but a good heart...

I saw an article that listed some of the celebrities that are going the extra mile to help the Survivors of Katrina. Sean Penn (Bless his Heart) took a boat to New Orleans to rescue trapped children. His boat sprung a leak before he could even get started. Although he came to New Orleans with a complete entourage, including photographer, he still but forth an effort. Several people criticized him , saying he was just doing this as a publicity stunt. So what if it was a publicity stunt that went awry. He still is doing more than many of us. He left his nice expensive home to voluntarily jump into a nasty cesspool of decay. This man willingly stepped into a stagnant, crap-filled, bacterial breeding ground to help people he didn't know and didn't have to care about. That's more than what our government leaders are doing.

Ginny's Sexy Men of the Week:

John Travolta- flying supplies to victims

Sean Penn - Rescue efforts

Harry Connick Jr.- Does he really need a reason? Visiting evacuees and Habitat for Humanity

Jamie Foxx- Visiting evacuees and monetary contributions

Anderson Cooper- Having the balls to lose his mind on national television and say what the people are really thinking

Songs that make you go WTF- 90s Love Songs

I love to listen to music (shocking isn't it) but I have this bad habit of actually listening to the words and trying reason it out. Now don't go thinking this is an attack on Hip-Hop, cause it's not. I decided I would start a weekly post of these songs (and Videos) that just leave you scratching your head. All genres of music are subject to the list. And if you know of some songs (especially in the Country, Rock, and Christian categories) leave a comment so I can make fun-- discuss it here too.

This week's victims are 90s Love songs by male R&B groups.

"She's Playing Hard to Get" by High Five - Denial anyone?

I can tell by the look in her eyes
That she's into me
Cuz when she passes by and say "Hi"
I can tell by her smile
Cuz she's shy as can be (She's playin')
I don't think she can see my pushin' her
But I can feel her crushin' me

She's playing hard to get
She just won't admit
That she likes me She likes me
She's playing hard to get
She just won't admit, oo yeah
That she likes me She likes me
She's playin' hard

Tell me that is not a defense for a stalking or rape case. I wonder what ever happened to those boys...

"The First Time" by Surface - Never have I seen a group of men be so proud of their overly emotional "sensitive" side as this group.

The first time I look into your eyes I cried
Do you remember the first time
We fell in love
You look into my eyes wiped the tears away
The first time
When we fell in love

I am trying to figure out if this is blind date that went horribly awry or if he is just "crying for the cootchie". Either way, grow some balls and tell her how you really feel in a manly fashion please.

"Shower Me With Your Love" by Surface - No thanks, I'll pass.

Shower me with your love
Shower me with your love that I look for
Shower me with your love
Shower me with your love I've been waiting for

Where is R. Kelly when you need him? These freaks would have paid good money to be in that infamous video.

"Freak Me" (Let Me Lick You Up and Down) by Silk - Y'all need to stop lying like that...

Let me lick you up and down
Til you say stop
Let me play with your body baby
Make you real hot

Come on. No woman in her right mind is going to tell you to stop. Your tongue will fall off before she says anything. That's false advertising.

Ok, this is the last one. There is no need to use them all up in one weekend, right. This one is for Video

"I'll Make Love to You" by Boyz II Men - Do you remember the video?

Duane Martin plays a security technician or something. He falls in love with the owner of the house he is installing a security system. He's too shy (punk) to approach her, but listening to the Boyz II Men CD inspires him to write her a letter. Ok, that sounds pretty sweet and romantic but then he opens the CD case and begins to copy the lyrics from the CD cover. WTF! You're in serious violation!

Katrina

I hate that my first post has to be about Katrina, but I need to vent. I am so tired of hearing newscasters wax poetically about how Katrina affected everyone, rich and poor. "Katrina was a great equalizer", what a bunch of equalizing bull! You want evidence of the division between the haves and the have nots, turn on you t.v.!

I haven't seen anyone on t.v. crying from the affluent neighborhoods currently under water. Have you? No! Why, because they could afford to fly or drive to safety. They are chilling in hotels or are staying with family members. Right now, their biggest concern is contacting their insurance adjuster. The few that may have been interviewed (from the safety of hotels far out of Katrina's path) are griping about not being able return home to inspect the damage. All these people have to do is take a few pictures and they will rebuild and probably be reimbursed for the money they spent fleeing the hurricane.

Now let's look at the other side. Those people living in the "hood" couldn't leave their homes. Not because they were scared of looters and such, but because they lacked the means to go. Many don't own cars and for those that did, they didn't have the money for gas. Flying was obviously out of the question and those that may have had the money for bus tickets were stranded in New Orleans when the Greyhound station closed on Saturday. My question is why didn't officials provide buses to shuttle these people to safety? They had plenty of time. Why, because they were the lowest common denominator.

Now all that is left is the hope that most of these people can be rescued. Although that hope dwindles everyday. It doesn't help to see the heartbreaking stories of mothers forced to choose which child will ride with her to safety. Husbands that have to watch their wives wash away in the raging flood waters. Now, after admitting to the devastating death tolls, do city and state officials play hero. Yeah, Hurricane Katrina, the "Great equalizer".

Slate offers a great article about this.